Evel dicks finest finest hourI

It's so sad (so sad) to see these reality stars that were a flash in the pan one day and the next they're trying so desperately to hold on to the 1 minute of fame they once had. In this particular instance I'm talking about the fucking WINNER of Big Brother 8 Richard Donato AKA Evel Dick.I will say that when he played the game he was certainly the most entertaining fellow in the house (not to mention he won $500,000)but;what is it now six or seven years since he's been in the limelight and the sad thing is he is still trying to hold on to that faux stardom.The guy has a website that sucked from the day he released it www.RTVZone.com pffff what a fucking joke.Did I mention that he has the nerve to charge people to see his sorry ass on some podcast. I will say this if he has half a fucking brain he'll still have a shitload of $$ in the bank but,something tells me he sucking on a glass dick for quarters. Here is a video of the creeps finest hour

...So this is "JEWISH GUILT"

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.

The boys' mother heard that a rabbi in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The rabbi agreed and asked to see them individually.

So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the rabbi in the afternoon.

The rabbi, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.

The rabbi repeated the question. "Where is God?"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

So, the rabbi raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"

RACISM.....WHAT RACISM?

I HAVE LONG BELIEVED THAT THE PART OF PROBLEM WITH RESOLVING RACE ISSUES IN AMERICA IS OUR INABILITY TO ACCURATELY NAME WHAT WE ARE. ASIDE FROM THE OCCASIONAL JOHNNY AND EDGAR WINTER, THERE ARE NO WHITE PEOPLE. ANY CHILD WITH A BOX OF CRAYONS CAN TELL YOU THAT WHITE PEOPLE ARE, IN FACT, BEIGE. THE SICKLY ONES ARE GRAY. NOT TO MENTION FOLLOWING THIS CRAYON LOGIC, ONE CAN EASILY SEE THAT THERE ARE REALLY NO BLACK PEOPLE. THEY ARE BROWN. OR PERHAPS RAW UMBER. OR MAYBE BURNT SIENNA. FRANKLY, EVERY TIME I HEAR SOMEONE COMMENT ON AMERICA’S FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT, I CAN’T HELP THINKING, “NO, HE’S NOT. HE’S MORE LIKE CARAMEL.” WHICH IS WHY I THINK WE SHOULD ALL GET IN THE HABIT OF CALLING EACHOTHER WHAT WE REALLY ARE. HOW CAN YOUR RACIALY SLUR A MAN BY CALLING HIM “BEIGEY” OR “UMBER“? THE ANSWER IS YOU CAN’T. BECAUSE THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HE IS. THE MELANIN DOESN’T LIE. BY A BOX OF CRAYOLAS AND SEE FOR YOURSELF. WE ARE ALL MEMBERS OF THE NATIONAL ASSOSITAION FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF COLOURED PEOPLE. CAN I HEAR A KUMBAYA?
Chuck Lorre

This isn't really fair using my blogroll to adverise my wears but,I don't care.I have put a lot of work into making one of the best playlists out there.I'm talking about Classics of Classic rock.If your 44 something years old and grew up listening to eighties music but at the same time appreciated what preceeded that, THEN YOUR IN FOR A TREAT.
First off let me tell you what,where,and all that jazz.It's called "LASHTUNES" and you can find me at blip.fm.My actual address is simply enough www.blip.fm/lashtunes.I decided to make this music channell because first and FOREMOST I love my music and, if I want to hear only the finest music ever laid on vinyl;I'd have to do it myself.
"LASHTUNES" was created on August 3rd/09.Yes it is still under construction but, then again it will be under constuction 3 months from now.What I mean is I'm ALWAYS ADDING SONGS TO MY PLAY LIST which by the way has over 250 songs as I write this.There are some that will say isn't that enough.I say absolutely not.I figure with all the music I know and all the bands I love,"LASHTUNES" will never be "FULLY COMPLTELY" (The Tragically hip) finished.
SO IN CONCLUSION TO THIS POST....GRAB A COMPUTER.BUY AN I-POD AND DOWNLOAD MY PLAYLIST FOR YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE.Don't worry I wont be mad.

THE CROSS JOINT

This blog is a letter I wrote in response to a video he posted (link on bottom)

You may roll a mean joint BUT,when I hear of flavoured papers I realize your just a young punk who enjoys everything about the art of rolling.... except what's inside the paper.Who the fuck cares how well you roll a joint.It's not going to bring you any income or change your life in any way so do your family a favour and get over yourself.
Sometimes it's better to be thought of the fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.I understand your the minority second generation in the group but, seriously your going to hit your late 20's and do you still want to be ROLLING CROSS BLUNTS(BTW THEY ARE STUNNING).YOU MY FRIEND SHOULD GET SERIOUS WITH YOUR STUDIES AN BECOME AN ENGINEER.Your loaded with talent and it shows in your workmanship.
Listen I'm just some 44 year old stoner who's been smoking hash & weed for over 28 years so,I think I know where I'm coming from to give you solid advice.I really am sorry I was direct and outright mean with you it's just that I know that smugness.It was ME for so long and it could get you in big trouble.There is something called humility & humbleness and that is my prescription for you.Take two and call me in the morning.
LK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmnRTHnW86Y

What's better than 1 blonde....two blondes

Okay so it's been a while since I told a joke.The reason being this is a blog forum and telling jokes is (to me) a cheap way of bringing traffic to your site.With that being said and the fact I have no followers,guess what....HERE'S A JOKE

> A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red
> sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer
> who was also a blonde.
>
> The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.
> She dug through her purse and was getting progressively
> more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she finally
> asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your
> picture on it.' The driver finally found a square mirror in
> her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.
> 'Here it is,' she said. The blonde officer looked at the
> mirror, then handed it back saying, 'OK, you can go. I
> didn't realize you were a cop.

Smelling the past

They say smell is the strongest of all our senses..... I couldn't agree more.As a teenager growing up in a big city I really loved mens cologne with all the compliments and attention it brought from the the opposite sex.I guess I was a metrosexual and of course didn't know it.(cool)!!!
There was this one cologne that to me was lightning in a bottle,I mean liguid gold.It's name..NINO CERRUTI.The problem was, it was like a greek god on a mountain top almost impossible to get a bottle let alone have the honour of smelling it.As a matter of fact I only had one bottle my entire life and I had to go to NEW YORK to get it.
I recently turned 44 and before the big day my parents asked what I wanted for my birthday.I thought long and hard and finally said well I would love a certain cologne from the eighties but,Im sure they stopped making it.A week later while having breakfast with my parents my father said he looked around and found the cologne.He then went on too say he didn't buy it because I told him that he'll never be able to find it and even if he did it would be a much newer and different cologne.He told me I better go see for myself because the sales lady told him that this indeed was the one he was looking for.So off I went.
The first thing I noticed upon arriving at an actual colgne store in an upscale mall was the bottle wasn't the same.Now I knew the lady didn't (or did) know what she was talking about depending on how you look at it.She's an idiot or a thief;PERIOD.Of course I couldn't smell it without buying it because that meant breaking the seal.She was so insistent that was I was holding was indeed the original and they had changed the bottle many years ago,I decided to go for it.Worst comes to worst I have a brand new cologne that I'll probably like anyways.
The second my card was accepted I couldn't wait.I literally ripped the bottle from the box and sprayed...........It took about a half a second but once my brain had finished the long task of recognizing the smell,it was like a major levee had collapsed and instead of water rushing through me it was memories.I mean specific times and places as if I had been trasported through time and space in an instant.
Lawrence Kerr

"I'M A WINNER"

This is a letter I wrote to MSN but I really had a hard time getting a fucking simple e-mail address so,I wrote to the FTC

To whom it may concern,
If your not literally disgusted on what depths these bottom feeders will go to in order to seperate one from his/her money.I can't say I'm the least bit surprised but,to use your good name is something I see almost daily.If it's not you they claim to represent, it's Visa themselves or a certain bank or even Government.I know this happens in every aspect of business from the worst of the worst,which to me is the telemarketing business.I mean,their reputation speaks for itself.
Right up to the people in which we place almost total trust in when it comes to our finances.That's right folks I'm talking about the banks.I mean if this doesn't take the award for scumbags of the year,what does? When you have this kind of power over the very people who entrust their families finances to you and literally hand over every penny they make to you....you'd think they would bend over backwards for you.YOU'D THINK.Unfortunately in this day in age the bottom line for everybody and I mean EVERYONE is buckazoids. When your financial institution turns around and legally squeezes your neck the second you make one mistake when it comes to monies owed.Whether your late by even one single day (and believe me if you don't send your payment early enough somehow your going to be late)your now hit with their late fees, high compounding interest fees that sometimes double if your late,not to mention all the fine print that goes along with your credit card,that funny enough is governed by your bank.I still remember when Visa was Visa and the bank had nothing to do with your credit card but,that's a story for another day.

My date with Penn

A quickie response.It's pronounced Lasheesh....My name is Lorne but growing up I somehow got the nickname Lash.I understand your problem with pronouncing my name because you don't smoke dope.Well I do.I smoke hasish and it's pronounced hasheesh so,I think I need not continue on how to.....ya know pronounce my name
I can't tell how suprised and happy I was when I'm half baked watching your vid and the next thing I know your answering my question.Your point you made is very interesting.

PROVE IT AND I'LL BELIEVE.
I guess that's why I call myself an Agnostic-Zionist.I was born Jewish and I will die Jewish.As a people I feel strong about my roots and I am and will always be a strong believer in the state of ISRAEL.However I do not believe in organized religion and,that runs consistent with your theory that were all Athiests until it comes to OUR god.Well I say BULLSHIT!!! (pun intended)
I do believe (without any proof) that there is some kind of force thats responsible for the Universe and all it encompasses.I guess that's why they call it faith.
Either way Penn I absolutely love your videos,your stoties and most of all your quirks.The internet would not be the same without you

My Father and I

My father always told me,their are two things in this world you cannot buy is a mother and a father.Although I've always understood the words and what they meant.The problem was I didn't care.It was always about me and, still, in many ways it still is. I'm 44 years old now and about 8 years ago me and my dad had breakfast one Sunday morning.We enjoyed are time together so much that day that we decided to make it a ritual.I can't begin to tell you how happy I am that the ritual contiues 'till this day.Let me tell you it's been a rough 8 years for many of my friends and family.Two good friends of mine lost their father in this time frame.I also had a friend lose his mother.My sisters husbands father is on his way out with advanced pancreatic cancer and,my own father battled non hodgekins lymphonic cancer.
My father is one of the strongest minded persons I know and eased threw the chemo with grace and style.Never once complaing about anything.My father always putting a positive spin on the most negative of situations.Well folks he beat the monster with a knockout punch in the third roundto claim victory
My father who is almost 75yrs of age and CANCER FREE.These are the times when it's not about me anymore.These are the times that I cherish and I'm so grateful that the internet has provided me the means in which I can now put my father and mother on digital video for all too see and for me to have 'till the day I perish.I hope you enjoy my father as I have had the honour of for the past 44 years.He certainly is in a class of his own
I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH DADDY
Your son The King