Smelling the past

They say smell is the strongest of all our senses..... I couldn't agree more.As a teenager growing up in a big city I really loved mens cologne with all the compliments and attention it brought from the the opposite sex.I guess I was a metrosexual and of course didn't know it.(cool)!!!
There was this one cologne that to me was lightning in a bottle,I mean liguid gold.It's name..NINO CERRUTI.The problem was, it was like a greek god on a mountain top almost impossible to get a bottle let alone have the honour of smelling it.As a matter of fact I only had one bottle my entire life and I had to go to NEW YORK to get it.
I recently turned 44 and before the big day my parents asked what I wanted for my birthday.I thought long and hard and finally said well I would love a certain cologne from the eighties but,Im sure they stopped making it.A week later while having breakfast with my parents my father said he looked around and found the cologne.He then went on too say he didn't buy it because I told him that he'll never be able to find it and even if he did it would be a much newer and different cologne.He told me I better go see for myself because the sales lady told him that this indeed was the one he was looking for.So off I went.
The first thing I noticed upon arriving at an actual colgne store in an upscale mall was the bottle wasn't the same.Now I knew the lady didn't (or did) know what she was talking about depending on how you look at it.She's an idiot or a thief;PERIOD.Of course I couldn't smell it without buying it because that meant breaking the seal.She was so insistent that was I was holding was indeed the original and they had changed the bottle many years ago,I decided to go for it.Worst comes to worst I have a brand new cologne that I'll probably like anyways.
The second my card was accepted I couldn't wait.I literally ripped the bottle from the box and sprayed...........It took about a half a second but once my brain had finished the long task of recognizing the smell,it was like a major levee had collapsed and instead of water rushing through me it was memories.I mean specific times and places as if I had been trasported through time and space in an instant.
Lawrence Kerr

"I'M A WINNER"

This is a letter I wrote to MSN but I really had a hard time getting a fucking simple e-mail address so,I wrote to the FTC

To whom it may concern,
If your not literally disgusted on what depths these bottom feeders will go to in order to seperate one from his/her money.I can't say I'm the least bit surprised but,to use your good name is something I see almost daily.If it's not you they claim to represent, it's Visa themselves or a certain bank or even Government.I know this happens in every aspect of business from the worst of the worst,which to me is the telemarketing business.I mean,their reputation speaks for itself.
Right up to the people in which we place almost total trust in when it comes to our finances.That's right folks I'm talking about the banks.I mean if this doesn't take the award for scumbags of the year,what does? When you have this kind of power over the very people who entrust their families finances to you and literally hand over every penny they make to you....you'd think they would bend over backwards for you.YOU'D THINK.Unfortunately in this day in age the bottom line for everybody and I mean EVERYONE is buckazoids. When your financial institution turns around and legally squeezes your neck the second you make one mistake when it comes to monies owed.Whether your late by even one single day (and believe me if you don't send your payment early enough somehow your going to be late)your now hit with their late fees, high compounding interest fees that sometimes double if your late,not to mention all the fine print that goes along with your credit card,that funny enough is governed by your bank.I still remember when Visa was Visa and the bank had nothing to do with your credit card but,that's a story for another day.

My date with Penn

A quickie response.It's pronounced Lasheesh....My name is Lorne but growing up I somehow got the nickname Lash.I understand your problem with pronouncing my name because you don't smoke dope.Well I do.I smoke hasish and it's pronounced hasheesh so,I think I need not continue on how to.....ya know pronounce my name
I can't tell how suprised and happy I was when I'm half baked watching your vid and the next thing I know your answering my question.Your point you made is very interesting.

PROVE IT AND I'LL BELIEVE.
I guess that's why I call myself an Agnostic-Zionist.I was born Jewish and I will die Jewish.As a people I feel strong about my roots and I am and will always be a strong believer in the state of ISRAEL.However I do not believe in organized religion and,that runs consistent with your theory that were all Athiests until it comes to OUR god.Well I say BULLSHIT!!! (pun intended)
I do believe (without any proof) that there is some kind of force thats responsible for the Universe and all it encompasses.I guess that's why they call it faith.
Either way Penn I absolutely love your videos,your stoties and most of all your quirks.The internet would not be the same without you

My Father and I

My father always told me,their are two things in this world you cannot buy is a mother and a father.Although I've always understood the words and what they meant.The problem was I didn't care.It was always about me and, still, in many ways it still is. I'm 44 years old now and about 8 years ago me and my dad had breakfast one Sunday morning.We enjoyed are time together so much that day that we decided to make it a ritual.I can't begin to tell you how happy I am that the ritual contiues 'till this day.Let me tell you it's been a rough 8 years for many of my friends and family.Two good friends of mine lost their father in this time frame.I also had a friend lose his mother.My sisters husbands father is on his way out with advanced pancreatic cancer and,my own father battled non hodgekins lymphonic cancer.
My father is one of the strongest minded persons I know and eased threw the chemo with grace and style.Never once complaing about anything.My father always putting a positive spin on the most negative of situations.Well folks he beat the monster with a knockout punch in the third roundto claim victory
My father who is almost 75yrs of age and CANCER FREE.These are the times when it's not about me anymore.These are the times that I cherish and I'm so grateful that the internet has provided me the means in which I can now put my father and mother on digital video for all too see and for me to have 'till the day I perish.I hope you enjoy my father as I have had the honour of for the past 44 years.He certainly is in a class of his own
I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH DADDY
Your son The King